Day 5

Jake is doing amazingly well. Aside from the occasional nausea, he hasn't had any of the nasty chemo side effects as of yet. He has a goal to walk a total of 2 miles every day (which is annoying because it's walking around the nurses station a billion times) and I think that the ability to keep his activity level up helps with the healing process and to keep his spirits up. He amazes me at how well he's doing so far. From what I understand, he may continue to do this well throughout the first phase of chemo. What's really going to be hard is transplant time. I'm definitely not looking forward to watching him go through all of that. Knowing Jake, though, he'll continue to do it with a smile on his face. He really is that amazing.

As for me, I never realized how much it takes to be the caregiver. I'm not complaining, just adjusting. I'm hoping that it won't take too much longer before I seem like I know what I'm doing. I am also trying to keep going in the same way I was before the diagnosis. For example, I had set up a couple of interviews before Jake was sick. I wasn't really looking for anything huge, but a part time job would have been nice for some extra play money. I had one this morning that I totally bombed, and I have one this afternoon that I was excited about before diagnosis, but I'm not so sure know. I'm in kind of a weird situation in the fact that Jake has an AMAZING job that is still letting him work and bring home the paycheck. So me getting job isn't necessary. At the same time I feel it would be nice to start putting a little extra away just to have, and also have an easier time keeping up my license. I'm still playing it by ear, and am confident that the right situation will become apparent.

The amount of gratitude I continue to feel on a daily basis is so overwhelming, yet refreshing. I continue to be so grateful for Jake's company and his amazing coworkers. We've received so many calls and comments and some of the most thoughtful gifts from them, as well as from many other friends and family. I'm grateful to a friend (with whom I would have lost touch if it weren't for Facebook) who thought of the things I didn't and brought me easily packed items to take to the hospital with us so Ryan and I can have lunch available. And I'm grateful for parents and grandparents who have anticipated our needs with Ryan and other things. It's not that I expect life to be easy, but these "little" things have such a big impact on how we're able to get through it. This small gratitude list is but a tiny piece of all of the things you all have done for us, and I am eternally grateful.