Methotrexate Sucks

My heart has been hurting this week. We went into this phase with the expectation that it would be easier than last phase, yet we're finding the opposite is true. Jake has been hit hard with nasty side effects, and it's so hard to sit back and watch and know that there's nothing I can do about it. The day after he started the methotrexate he became sick for the first time since diagnosis. He spent the entire day in a Phenergan/Ativan fuzz, and I wasn't even able to really contact him much so we didn't visit. He hasn't really been the same since. Also, the methotrexate took longer than expected to get down to a manageable level, so he wasn't discharged until yesterday (Saturday). After coming home, he was fine for an hour or 2, and then he got quite sick again. As a result, he became dehydrated so his levels remained the same. Then, as if things weren't bad enough, he woke up this morning in a lot of pain in his head, back, and throat. Put the throat pain on top of the loss of appetite he's experiencing, and things just aren't going near as well as we hoped. Jake mentioned earlier that "this is not how I wanted to go on a diet...". I don't blame him.

I'm hoping the next week or 2 will be a lot better for him. We check back into the hospital the day after Thanksgiving and start all over again. I'm just praying next dose gets easier, because this is awful. I absolutely hate seeing him in so much pain. This just sucks.  Please pray that Jake will have an easier time during the time between admits; he definitely needs it.